so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
