Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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