somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
