She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
