i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
