I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
