I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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