Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
