which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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