She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i will never coherently bang her
my being single is dangerous.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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