She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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