he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
