I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
