Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
