i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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