You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
