Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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