I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize