Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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