when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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