Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
