Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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