Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
