So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
