She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
