Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
