I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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