i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize