i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
