Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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