i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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