wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
