omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
