I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
