I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
