My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
