i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
