Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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