How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize