Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Randomize
