it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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