Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
