you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
