Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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