Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
