We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
