put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
