every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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