week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
