think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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