Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize