her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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