so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
