two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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