You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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