Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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