as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
