About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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