is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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