maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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