My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just google imaged poop.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
