My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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