woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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