On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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