Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
